SuperManager: Midlife Job Searching - Taking the Leap - Part 2 of 2

A lot of people realize after 10, 15, 20+... years in their career that they're just not happy.  So what do you? 

Listen in as our panel of SuperManagers who have taken that leap, talk about their experiences, stories, and suggestions.

Host:
Samantha Naes - CN Video Production

Guests:
Kristen Edens - kristenedens.com
Tara Gregor - BreakWell
Vicky Wors - Wors Consulting

Transcript

CN Video Production:   0:02
You're listening to SuperManager, the podcast with a diverse panel of experts discussing what goes on in the office.  And your host, Samantha Naes with CN Video. Your business's video team on call. 

Samantha Naes:   0:16
So welcome back to another Super Manager podcast this week. We're talking about midlife job searching, and I have my team of non job searchers. With me, we have

Tara Gregor:   0:27
Tara Gregor with BreakWell, a workplace wellbeing resource and partner.

Vicky Wors:   0:31
Vicky Wors, Wors  Consulting with the Human Resources consulting for small to midsize organizations

Kristen Edens:   0:39
and Kristen Edens, I'm a content writer for business and also the founder of Managing Midlife, a blog.

Samantha Naes:   0:47
And I am Samantha Naes with CN Video. We do corporate video production.  

Samantha Naes:   0:51
I know for me it was when I realized the only thing I liked about my job wasn't technically in my job description. I had just worked my way up to a level of management where I had a certain level of control over what I did during the day, and what I chose to do during the day wasn't my job.  And it's waking up one day and coming to that realization, I don't look forward to what I'm supposed to be doing!  The company deserves to have somebody in the position that wants to be doing this. This is what I would rather be doing.  And a push from my doctor. They said, stress, too much stress and I needed to leave the stress behind, which was the job. So that was the push that I needed to actually get going.

Vicky Wors:   1:29
What's interesting is this tool that I use One of the things that points out our stressors and it is when you're stressing, is when your needs aren't met and your needs are identified through your interest and you begin to manifest bad behaviors. You don't come to work or you don't do the work that's assigned.

Samantha Naes:   1:51
I came to work. I just wasn't very happy.

Vicky Wors:   1:53
You you didn't do work that was assigned, this is what you just said. If you ask the question, how do you find out well you can do various assessments.  But the idea is if if you're uncomfortable, if you're making your managers or the people you report to, not very happy, not trustful of you, something's happening.

Kristen Edens:   2:12
It's a couple of different things. It's what Tara says about how she wants to feel if you were in a company not feeling that it's also personally, I'm not fulfilled, or it's stress.  

Samantha Naes:   2:24
right, you have to be acting out or doing a bad job. You know,

Kristen Edens:   2:27
it's just  

Samantha Naes:   2:27
if your not feeling fulfilled

Kristen Edens:   2:28
It's time for a change. And so how do you go about doing that? Well, there's two ways you you have to look at your finances and what your family needs from you. So sometimes some of us make that cold Turkey jump. Bam were out. I'm done. Here's my two weeks. I'm going to do this and that's one path to go. The other one is realizing, All right, this isn't gonna work anymore. How can I make it happen? All right, I do not have the finances to be able to do it. It's gonna have to become a side gig, which he had a previous podcast. 

Samantha Naes:   2:59
You know, one of the things that I did during that transitional period was I knew that I wasn't feeling fulfilled, but I had a really good job in place. And so I started taking classes.  

Kristen Edens:   3:07
Yeah,  

Samantha Naes:   3:07
I found some online classes and some college courses that had to do with what I wanted to change to, and having a full time job, they actually paid for these courses. I would say I want to take so I just want to take some classes. I just want to increase improve. And so I was able to keep my full time job, take these classes and consider. Do I really enjoy this? Am I good at this? Is this what I want to do before taking that leap?

Kristen Edens:   3:29
And maybe some of those classes are a good jump. You've made the realization something has to happen. You're taking these classes which may be related to your current job, and you could think Okay, how can I apply this? Or maybe realize I could do this on my own? And I'm going to take my experience here, the classes that continuing education and start to build something. And there is a thrill. And

Vicky Wors:   3:53
those classes are a stress reliever, too.

Samantha Naes:   3:55
Well they are.  And it's good learn. You could get fulfillment through learning, and then also you have to do a little bit of research on the industry. Who is the competition? Can I do this? How much money will I make?  

Kristen Edens:   4:07
What's going to take  

Samantha Naes:   4:08
But there's no reason that, like I didn't give up my full time job until I had done this research and had taken a few classes little bit safer

Tara Gregor:   4:15
from a management standpoint that was always so. I had a department of about 20 employees for a decade, and that was always my biggest clue that they were leaving.

Kristen Edens:   4:24
When they were taking classes?

Tara Gregor:   4:25
they would start classes, or they went back to school. Well, I knew that there was. It was the beginning of the end at some point. So how again do you? Ours was they couldn't really be out of their position, so there wasn't much else for them to do in our company.

Vicky Wors:   4:42
So how many policies have I written that establish that to be reimbursed for your college courses,  It has to be job related, and you have to show where it's related to your job.

Samantha Naes:   4:55
You could always come up with something.  You can always find a way that it's an improvement...

Vicky Wors:   4:57
Again, this is the way that corporations don't want, especially with the lack of talent that they have now. There may be those that will be more open to it. I'm just being realistic here. They're not looking to train people for other employers.

Tara Gregor:   5:17
But if we can spin that and say again, how can we groom them for the next steps within our company?

Samantha Naes:   5:23
Right. Turn it into a win win

Tara Gregor:   5:25
Exactly, there has to be a career path built of, these are the skills that you need.  Here's what we see in your future.

Samantha Naes:   5:30
Oh, you're saying, you see the warning signs. They're taking courses. Maybe that's the time to talk with them about what's available within the organization that these courses might...

Tara Gregor:   5:39
Sure, or what are you trying to fulfill? What are you lacking? That you feel like you need to find this and more education or school? Or where's that interests going and start having those conversations and then start to see their career path and help them through that piece of it. Now they're the ones responsible, and they're taking the initiative to do that. But then it's the company's responsibility to also see if they're a great employee. How do we keep them in our organization.

Vicky Wors:   6:04
That's a good argument,

:   6:06


Samantha Naes:   6:06
I'm wondering how big the risk is in having a conversation with your supervisor, whether you're a manager, whatever level you're at, somebody is supervising you. Unless you're the business owner, I'm the type of person that I would be inclined to say, Hey, listen, I'm getting a little bit bored with my job. I have some interests. I'm gonna be taking some classes. Let's have a conversation about this. I think that maybe unusual.     

Tara Gregor:   0:00
  I do too.

Samantha Naes:   6:26
Most people would not have that conversation

Vicky Wors:   6:27
It's very unusual

Tara Gregor:   6:29
Now looking from the outside, I wish I would have had those conversations because I probably would have been with that company still. But I was way too scared to ever say that I was stressed out or burned out or that I wasn't happy because my talents weren't being utilized. So I was too scared to have all those conversations.

Samantha Naes:   6:45
and you may have been able to give them the opportunity to give that to you within that organization

Tara Gregor:   6:50
And I didn't know what career path that could have been for me because I only saw my role, so I didn't

Samantha Naes:   6:54
Why do you think you didn't have that conversation?  What stopped you from telling someone

:   6:55


Tara Gregor:   6:59
I was scared? I was scared that they would think that I wasn't good enough or that they would find somebody else to replace me.

Samantha Naes:   7:05
They'd start replacing you. Oh she's a gonner.

Vicky Wors:   7:10
Bottom line, that's a lack of trust.

Kristen Edens:   7:12
I say Just do it because when you get to the point that you're not happy, you're stressed, you want something different. It's a floodgate. Just open it up and let it go, and sometimes it's going to take just doing it, and it is a risk. It's a risk in yourself. 

Samantha Naes:   7:28
You know what somebody said to me when I was thinking about doing it, they said Leap and a net will appear and it did.

Kristen Edens:   7:32
Yeah, well, yeah, and you just have to finally realize it's meant to be. And more people are realizing at any age that and it doesn't have to be the traditional midlife crisis thing. It's just, Yeah, I've got this education. I've got this experience, but I know I could do better. I want to do better. I want to do something different.

Samantha Naes:   7:52
And if you're spending eight hours a day doing something that you're not happy with, something that doesn't feel right to you, it is a crisis.

Kristen Edens:   8:00
Yes, yes. And so the point is, when you feel that come on, just do it just start it. Start investigating. Yes, Sometimes you'll have to do the side gig thing But the endgame here is that you want to be happy. You've got many years ahead of you, whether you're 30 40 or 50. And here's something I tell people that I work with and interview for my blogged is that a big question is are a big concern is, But I'm 50. I'm 60. What am I gonna do? I said you're gonna hit it and you're gonna roll, because

Samantha Naes:   8:32
let the record show. I'm shrugging my shoulders.

Kristen Edens:   8:34
Our Children are who are half our age are still trying to figure out what they want to be, what they want to do. Here we are 50 sixties, maybe even older, going now I know. And I'm gonna pursue it  

Samantha Naes:   8:47
Right, why n ot?

Kristen Edens:   8:47
And so we have as much time ahead of us 20, 30 more years in our lives to pursue what we really want to do where our Children have 30 40 trying to figure out what they want. So I'd say Just do it and it'll be tough, but it will be the best experience you'll have. And sometimes you just have to take that leap, and that net will appear. But you'll be just so much happier, and when you realize that there's no need fighting it, you just need to go.

Tara Gregor:   9:15
That line in the sand for me was, If I die tomorrow and I don't do this, I will be so mad at myself for being miserable and staying in a job that was a paycheck and that had stability to it. People thought I was crazy because I'm a single mom, a single income household of two young kids, and how can you take this risk and do this? But I knew that I could not live another day in the life that I was living because I was miserable and snapped in my kids. I was tired. I was exhausted and I wasn't being any of the person that I wanted to be.

Kristen Edens:   9:50
And there's a book out there.

Tara Gregor:   9:50
I'm still looking for the net.  

Kristen Edens:   9:52
Well the net's there but we have to weave it as we go.

Samantha Naes:   9:56
You're doing  okay and probably a lot healthwise.  

Tara Gregor:   9:59
Sure,  

Samantha Naes:   10:00
Probably a lot better. I know. 2 to 3 months after I left full time work to start my own business. I love to tell the story. I felt something weird on my head and I didn't know what was wrong with my head. I'm like, there's something wrong. My head doesn't feel right And I went and I looked in the mirror. I'm like, What is going on? It was it was new hair growth. It was my hair growing back in from the stress of

Vicky Wors:   10:23
you had lost your hair from stress.

Samantha Naes:   10:25
I didn't really notice as much because it's not like I lost all of it or in big clumps. But it was definitely thinning. And after I made my career change, left that job behind new hair started growing back in,

Kristen Edens:   10:36
and that's what it is. You just gotta realize something's wrong and something's off and it's up to us. We get that urge and a lot of people are going to come and say You're leaving this good job. You're a single mom. You're this year that

Samantha Naes:   10:51
don't let them freak you out.

Kristen Edens:   10:52
Don't let it is just yeah. And I know I can do this and I'm gonna be happy,

Vicky Wors:   10:56
almost gets into the metaphysical to some extent, you know, allow it out into the universe and things evolve. And don't be stupid about it, of course, is what we're trying to say. Do some research and understanding but, but where your interests are going to take you, trust yourself. I guess more than anything else, trust yourself.

Samantha Naes:   11:20
And some good advice I got was if people do like Kristen, you said earlier people are like, Oh, but you're giving up a job. If they won't stop talking that way, you've got a kind of at least temporarily put them out of your life for a little bit until you can make that leap and make that move without people making you feel nervous about it.

Kristen Edens:   11:37
Yeah, You got to get rid of the negative. That includes the negativity in your own mind.  You have to realize. All right, How much do I want it? Oh, my gosh. I'm scared. You got to get uncomfortable.

Samantha Naes:   11:48
And it will be an elevator ride. I mean, after I took the leap, there were days when I was on top of the world and I was like, This is the smartest thing I've ever done. Followed by days where I would cry and go. What have I done?   

Kristen Edens:   0:00
  Yes! Yes!

Kristen Edens:   0:00
 You just push past those, it'll happen.

Vicky Wors:   12:02
But those are growth patterns

Tara Gregor:   12:05
And I've learned more in the last two years being on my own that I did in a decade. All that experience is what led me to this and to be able to help other people. But I mean, it teaches you a lot about your yourself in your skill set.

Samantha Naes:   12:18
All right, Does anybody have a horror story about somebody who wasn't in the right job needed to make a career change? I hate to say it, but even a horror story about someone who did make that mid life career change and it didn't work out, 

:   12:27


Kristen Edens:   12:30
I would say there are no horror stories except for those who don't do it. And they are on their deathbed and realizing I should have done it because there is no too late. But as for horror stories, the horror stories is staying too long where you just aren't happy  

Tara Gregor:   12:47
making the rest of your coworkers miserable.  

Samantha Naes:   12:50
If you're interested in a video resume, contact me at 314-843-3663 That's (314) Video me,  or visit our website at cn-video.com.

CN Video Production:   12:57
Thanks for listening to SuperManager by CN Video Production. Give us a call at 314-843-3663 That's (314) Video Me.  Or visit our website at cn-video.com for additional episodes, information, or to discuss video services.